Refreshed by the business and economic theories through an MBA program, this author’s subconscious mind cranked up and formulated an unconventional yet scientific link dating and economics. Hence, 12 dating hacks for guys. This post was henceforth born out of the scientific lessons learned in the academe and their use as basis for correlation to life obstacles. Yes, this is backed by science.
Balance normalizes everything in this world much more in Love and in Economics. Imagine a see-saw in a playground. There is a force that balances the see-saw to make it work. The see-saw needs a fulcrum in the middle to strike balance between opposing weights at each end.
In life, balance is the force that make the most out of life; a force to live life to the fullest.
Hold on to your seats, this isn’t going to be a boring scientific article
Economic Principle in a Simple Explanation
Optimality is a way of nature to strike efficiency in things we do. People act to obtain most value they can squeeze out in every decision. What to buy, what to do and how to do it, are some of the dilemma that people usually strive for optimality. But can optimality be used to govern relationships? The answer is an astounding yes.
In economics, marginal utility concept means the gain (or loss) from an increase (or decrease) in the consumption of a good or service. Further, economic theory says that receiving the first unit of any good or service yields the highest marginal utility or happiness. However, marginal utility diminishes as people receive additional units. In order to reach maximum utility, one must strive to consume goods or service in which it will yield indifferent marginal utility.
The Application of Economics to Love
Analogously, the concept of “Diminishing Marginal Utility” can be applied to the happiness gained from the trade-off between time spent on relationship or personal life. Excluding time spent on work related stuff, people either spend time between relationship matters and personal stuff. Since time is fixed (24 hours a day), as people spends time more on relationship matters, activities such as dating, talking and intimacy, time available for personal stuff decreases and vice-versa.
Spending time mostly on personal stuff diminishes marginal happiness derived from the personal related activities. Same with relationships, spending time mostly for relationship related activities diminishes marginal happiness derived from it. Love economics logic states that people should spend time on either activities until marginal utility reaches zero. In this way, people can reach the optimal point that yields the highest possible happiness or satisfaction.
“In spending time between relationship matters and personal stuff, balance yields optimality” .
Realizing this concept isn’t rocket science, people don’t need to know theories in economics to explain how people should spend scarce time resource. Though it is easier to be said than done, people should just strive balance in spending time for forging relationships, a.k.a LOVE, and personal time for one’s self. People can easily be trapped in the unbalanced nature of time allocation which can sink happiness levels. Just by practicing the“balance yields optimality”, there is a discovery of the highest happiness both within and beyond.
How to Exploit the System to Your Advantage
I’ve cranked up 10 cool and actionable rules on dating that is backed by science. Yes, economics and business know-how can get you a rockin’ return on your investments in the market for love.
Restrict your supply to increase demand.
Economics textbook and dating tutorials always have the hard-to-get trick. In order to restrict your supply, you need to say “NO” to increase your price. You need to create an illusion that your presence is so valuable that people will be lining up just to be with you. No woman will want someone who is easily be with by just about anyone. You want to give an exclusive access to your target’s affections.
Strive to be differentiated to gain monopolistic advantage
Don’t just play the scarcity card on the get go. Girls won’t know you’re worth until you’ve differentiated yourself from who else is on the relationship market. This means that you should have a trait that is desirable that most guys don’t have. It could be an achievement, a valuable asset, a social proof, an accolade from reputable institutions or a rare talent. This is the very reason rockstars, basketball star, teachers, businessmen and intellect have cult followings. Just take for example a guy who has a car among all guys in town who don’t own one.
Restrict information, you’ll be mysterious
Information is power. Provide selected information about you when on a date. This doesn’t mean you have to provide all positive information (see # 9). The goal is to create an image that you are worth the wait. The perception you’ll create is similar to brands that promote to build their image.
Incur type-revealing costs
Restricting information is tricky for men. Most, if not all, will reveal a great stuff. There is no problem in this strategy. The problem lies on other players in the market. All will also be too nice and too good for every girls. The perception it creates is similar to jerks who just want to sleep with their dates. The trick is to do something a jerk is not willing to do. Examples of these are waiting for the girl patiently and embarrassing themselves to the public just to show affection. Jerks discount future payoff more than nice guys! If you forego your short term gains then you are sending a message that you are seriously into a girl.
Ignore sunk costs, think opportunity costs
Don’t be sentimental on great memories. The “sentimental value” doesn’t have any value at all except for the lesson learned from it. Great times isn’t the best predictor of future. In business, the value of an company is the future cash flows and not the historical records and achievements. Relationship is not about the great time you had its about having more great time to come.
Think about your risk appetite before investing
The very reason for being in a relationship is the security in love and belonging, the third need according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. You are sure that you’ll get affection anytime and anywhere you need it. You know you have a companion who supports you in anything you wish. You have shoulders to lean on when things go not as planned. Simply, you expect someone when you go home after a full day’s work. Its a risk free investment like buying a treasury bill from a central bank. You’ll have no risk in default plus an expected return on it. If you are a risk taker – periods of no return (single) and periods of one-time big time playoff (one night stands), I suggest you invest in the stock market and forget treasury bills.
Diversify your portfolio
This advice is for the players. Taking on a fund manager’s approach, its better to diversify on bets rather than putting all apples in the same basket. Take different levels of risk on girls based on expected market value Take a strong approach on some then take others lightly. If you get burnt on the risky trades, you’ll still have your insurance bets to keep you afloat. Smooth moves but this is the explanation for the “collect and select strategy” of players.
You can get a better return on your investment by sacrificing liquidity
Cash is King as businesses and economists say. Though being liquid keep anyone flexible, investing it into worthwhile positive-yielding net present value projects gets better return. In relationships, many are reluctant to invest emotionally as people want to keep the flexibility. For guys to be get the best value for their efforts, they should be prepared to give up some of their freedoms and invest emotionally. They will surely be rewarded in the future.
Vulnerability is the sign of strong fundamentals
Showing a little bit of vulnerability could be treated as a sign of weakness. I beg to disagree. The act of being vulnerable shows the market you have plenty of ability to spare. There are no perfect people and only arrogant people are the ones who doesn’t have weaknesses. Plus, being vulnerable shows the grounded side of you – a testament you know yourself well enough to admit you still work to do. The lack of ability to admit vulnerability shows close mindedness.
If she does not like you, she is not your market
Showing that you are not in anyway threatened if don’t get what you want shows that you are in the state of happiness. In fact, you just want a relationship to further accentuate your happiness. Smart business don’t sell stuff because the confidently know that right people will come right at their doorstep. That how confident they are about their products. Similarly, in a relationship if you feel you got the short end of the stick, show them you are. If you can show them you’re perfectly happy without them, you’ll soon be getting your target market.
Find an undervalued asset
A lot of rough rems are waiting in the market still to be discovered. Demand from a product relies heavily on timing. Maybe you are out of luck in catching the most gorgeous in the market. You can be better off finding an undervalued asset — girls that haven’t been in the right timing yet. I noticed a lot of girls that weren’t that attractive at first but became a chick after sometime due to their personality and achievements. I suggest sacrifice looks for quality of personality and ability. Looks depreciate over time, and so tend to be overvalued in the short-run. Personality and ability, on the other hand, are just the opposite.
Have some PSR (Personal Social Responsibility) and you’ll get market benefits
Corporate Social Responsibility spending by companies often are received as their way to give back to the society. But not seen is the tax relief and the image they want to be perceived. In the dating market, branding is everything. Doing some social work and having some an great advocacy that you truly fight for increases your market value and the demand for your attention. Its a win-win. You did something for other and you get something valuable in return. The best thing, it feels good doing something for others.
There is an economic principle that assumes that individuals are rational and always make prudent and logical decisions. If you cheat with the hopes of not getting caught, you are wrong. So don’t cheat. Even without science, you’ll know the reason why you need not to.